Your Nail Polish Color is Black

How you're unique: There's nothing about you that isn't unique Why your style rocks: You are a total indie chick... and you can pull it off What this color says about you: "I'm a trendsetter and don't care what anyone else is doing!"

i am who i am
6:02 PM

So it looks like I won't be going to ATL after all. It is too expensive. I have the money for the ticket, but I'd want to be able to luxuriate while there. I'm a little sad about that. I was really looking forward to seeing Allie and Kathy and Bryant. I don't even want to think about what my Thanksgiving will be like.

My other reason for not going is because I need to begin to save money on a pretty large scale. I spoke good long talk with Trev about my career. I need to perfect my aircheck, and really focus on my on air career. I need to get a job that can fund my possible move to another state. I need to really focus cause I'm getting old at least in this biz.

Recently I read the Cancer chapter in this book. It was mostly true and quite informative. I want to buy it...It is only $ 6.99 (OKAY I KNOW THAT IS NOT A NECESSARY EXPENSE!) The only drawback is that they only talk about women. Right now I'm reading this novel. So far so good.

Work has been busy cause we are going on a retreat upstate. I kinda have to go. I hope I don't get sick. I'm only going cause I get paid. More money to save for my goal.

I'm quite lonely but I don't wanna get into that...

i am who i am
5:06 PM

I went to church yesterday. I went
here. It seems like a really nmice church and I've been meaning to visit for almost a year. I need to rely on God more. He is the only one that can help me through all the crap that I'm going through.

i am who i am
6:40 PM

After a long talk with myself, it looks like I might be going to Atlanta after all. We'll see.

I forgot to mention that my friend from LA wanted me to come to Vegas for New Years...hmnnn.

i am who i am
7:04 PM

You Are Sensual Sexy You exude a luxiourous sensuality in your everyday life. Turning heads every where you go, it's all about your sexy attitude.You're naturally hot - gorgeous in both sweats and stilettos.Your biggest problem is that your utra sexy self sometimes scares men away. What Kind of Sexy Are You? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

LOL this is so not true...

i am who i am
2:53 PM

My computer has been really crazy and I had the time at work to update this badboy. I guess I'm making the time today. Of course I'm in the constant cycle of trying to do too much and not doing shit at all.

Overall my entire existence is not sitting well with me. My living situation definitely is getting worst and worst. I feel the need to remove myself from that situation before it becomes very ugly which I know it can. My job is going okay. It is what it is. I'm here for the same reason that someone who is a prostitute does what they do. I just flat out need the money. The thing is that I really dislike it. I'm bored and I wanna go to sleep. I already suffer from getting tired all the time but to be doing something that is not stimulating to me is not going to work. It is not that I cannot accomplish my tasks; I do, but I do it only for the money. It is my only motivation...and I'm not a money chaser which means I'm not motivated and when I feel motivated or useful I get very depressed. I need to do something I enjoy or half way like.

So the bottom line is that I need to find a place to live and a new job. I wanted need my 26th year to be a year of big changes, so I'm giving myself deadlines. All in all I need to be well on there right path by July 1st, 2006. I need to at least be at a better job with benefits and on my way to getting my own place or moving in with a roommate if not having some so already.

It all comes back to money. They want me to help with the fiscal department for a few weeks. I was actually trying to cut down on my hours because I need medical insurance, and I guess the lil piece of money I make here is too much to qualify for basic health insurance. I told them I'd let them know. I really don't know. The money isn't everything and this places depresses me, and yes I'm thinking of the bigger picture and a part of that for me is MENTAL STABILITY. I cannot afford to be depressed. Been there, done it again and again. Yes I need to make money but I need to be happy too. I guess that is why I could never be a prostitute.

I have a lot of shit that I need to figure out and it is hard doing it on my own.

On a pretty sad note I'm trying to weigh all of my options considering Thanksgiving. I really want to visit my friend Kathy. My reasons...

1. I have been wanting to see Kathy and Bryant for about 5 years
2. I need to get away from here
3. I promised I'd visit
4. I want to cook on Thanksgiving

Unfortunately I have to see what my options are financially. Maybe next year when I have my apartment they can come visit me. I guess...one more thing to stress me out.

i am who i am
12:46 PM