I'm sick.
I ache (physically and emotionally).
I'm sad.
I'm mad.
What else is new...

I'm tired of people fucking disreguading my feelings or pissin me off.

I guess I'm in a bad mood.

I need to hear some good music and have a frosty drink.

i am who i am
9:13 PM

Here is a link to my wishlist. There is so much that I want and not enough money. I'm really working on updating it.

My new job is going well. Everyone is really nice. Too bad it is only 2 days a week with set hours. I stayed a little late to use the computer today. My laptop is totally dead now. For some reason it won't even start. My cousin Lenrich has moved back in and the computer was in his room so I won't be able to access it that often anymore. I'm not sure how him moving back in is going to change things, but I know that it will and I have a pretty bad feeling about it.

Unfortunately my money situation is really, really, bad. I'm not even sure how I'm going to get to work or my internship next week. To make matters worst, I seem to be coming down with something. I hope that it is just allergies cause I cannot afford to get sick. Anyway I'm not sure if I'm allowed to be here this late so I think I'm going to have to go.

i am who i am
7:45 PM

Unconscious Mutterings

1. Believing:: seeing
   
2. Invasion:: war
   
3. Boys:: girls
   
4. Island:: warm water
   
5. Repeatedly:: yelling
   
6. Normal:: But I'm a Cheerleader...I just wanna be normal
   
7. Hex:: HARRY POTTER
   
8. Tuxedo:: wedding
   
9. Virgin:: LOL ...me
   
10. Cereal:: Kashi

My friend Steffie makes me smile...thanks being there for me chica. I wish I could do the same for you. When you cry I cry...

i am who i am
5:07 PM

I know it's been a while. At first my Harry Potter book arrived and I devoured it over 9 hours. It was worth the 2 year wait. Then it was Wendy's birthday and I had stuff to do with that and then my computer phone line started is still acting funny and I couldn't get online. I think a storm we had last week affected it. I DESPISE DIAL UP!!! Other than those minor things nothing is going on with me. I'm supposed to be starting a new job on Monday. I hope it goes well. Things with David are ... the same. I'm not sure if that is good or bad. Like I've said before things are what they are with him.

I got an interesting email this week from a friend or someone I used to consider a friend. At this point I'm not sure what he is. He says he is moving back to NY. I really miss this person's friendship but I will NEVER forget what went down. I guess I'll just see what progresses with that as well.

i am who i am
8:57 PM

I finished reading Groove by Geneva Holiday this morning. It's a book about four friends since childhood and their escapedes one summer. I really enjoyed it. It was a quick read packed with lots of humor. A perfect summer read.

I'm glad that I finished it because all day long I kept squeeling at the thought of getting into this tomorrow. I am so psyched I'm going to wait outside for the delivery.

i am who i am
11:42 PM

i am who i am
3:44 AM

You know how you can tell that something just isn't right but you don't know what it is? That is how I feel right now. I hope that I'm wrong but usually am not.

You Are 70% Psychic

You are pretty psychic. While you aren't Miss Cleo, you've got a little ESP going on. And although you're sometimes off on your predictions... You're more often right than wrong So go with your instincts - you know more than you think

Overall, Your Observation Skills Get: B-

Your senses are pretty sharp (okay, most of the time) And it takes something big to distract you!

i am who i am
1:21 AM

If you know anyone who is over 25 and has a bathing suit ready body put them up on this contest.

i am who i am
7:32 PM

I just finished reading Confessions of a Video Vixen by the infamous "Superhead", Karrine Steffans. I met her on Wednesday up at the station. She was a very nice girl. She is pretty but I expected more. She is cute in an ordinary light skinned chick with implants and a blonde weave kinda way. She gave me a hug and a kiss when she left... To me her story was just sad. I wish her and her son well. I will especially pray for him...he will be forever known as Superhead's son.

I spoke to David. Just straight up asked him who Isabella was. He told me and I guess we are cool now? The ? is there for a reason. I'm not quite sure. For now he is the only person holding me down so I figure I'll just stick with him until I get fed up or fall in love with him and really feel the need to bail. He made sure to reiterate that I should not confuse him with his brother, that they are different. I assured him that I was fully aware of that. My 'relationship' with David is weird. Then again so is my friendship with his brother. We rarely ever talk, I've known him for about 6-7 years and we've never met, and inspite of all that I consider him to be like my family. Just like people don't get that, people (including myself at times) don't get me and Dave. Right now he serves a purpose in my life. I assume I serve one in his life as well. That is good enough for now.

i am who i am
8:50 PM

I had a really nice birthday. I ended up going out to dinner with Tarin and afterwards went to Dave's cousin Jacob's house and hung out. I ended up spending the whole weekend plus Monday and Tuesday at David's house. I had a good weekend until today. I guess we need to have another talk tonight. I don't need all the stress.

I had a job interview today for this part time. I pretty much got the job, but I have to wait untill she talks to my references and checks the budget. It is administrative and flexable...just what I need.

i am who i am
11:08 PM

Today was pretty quiet and introspective. I guess that is how it usually is near to my birthday. But in general I just think way too much. Kathy says that I over think things.

I was hoping to hang out with my friend Tarin tomorrow, but I think she has to go to a church picnic with her family. I guess I'll either see what David is up to or just go take the train somewhere...I just don't want to be here.

I wanted a new skin and I got one...I like it. It is true I need relaxation so maybe this will inspire me.

i am who i am
10:59 PM

i am who i am
3:29 AM