The weekend incident is bothering me more than I realize.
Especially cause I think someone doesn't believe me. That is why I never 'tell', cause people don't believe me or blame me.

i am who i am
3:42 AM

Well I'm in DC on the second leg of my trip. The first part was spent at my friend Kwesi's house and we went to the DC Carnival. It was not as well organized as NYs. One thing that I did learn is that there are a lot of Guyanese people in DC. Kwesi made sure I recognized. He was definately reppin hard. ( I am still convinced it is all about the Trinis, but I may be slightly biased.) I had a nice time at his house except for a few isolated incidents that totally spoiled everything. I don't want to get into it right now but maybe later.

So now I'm at my friend Stef's brand new house. I am soooo loving it. Her kitchen is the bomb. I volunteerd to wash the dishes. Izzo does not clean!!! Maybe she'll keep me all summer. I hope we'll be able to make a pizza while I'm here. I think I wanna head home Thursday at the latest.

So far I have no plans for Friday, but I want to be at home by then. Everyone knows what I wanted to do, but I may end up going to Atlantic City. We shall see.

Unconscious Mutterings

1. Lounge:: chair
   
2. Photograph:: camera
   
3. Catacomb:: tomb
   
4. Crucifix:: Jesus
   
5. Fire drill:: living in Meridian
   
6. Tube:: top
   
7. Dropped:: classes
   
8. LTD:: limited
   
9. Panther:: black
   
10. Formica:: granite
    

i am who i am
5:52 PM

Happy Father's Day.
My father is a total deadbeat and I am debating on calling him. I have nothing to say other than "Happy Father's Day. Thanks for being my sperm donor." So I don't think I'll bother. My mother and God have 'fathered' me.

My mom's birthday is on Friday...that means my birthday is the next Friday. Since this is a BIG birthday I want to do something nice. Everyone knows I really wanted to see this, but I don't think that is gonna happen. Maybe they'll extend the run.

I going to DC to visit later this week. Hopefully I won't be too tired, and I enjoy myself. I hope I don't run into anyone that is going to upset me.


This is too funny!!!!

i am who i am
5:24 PM

Unconscious Mutterings

1. Colorblind:: my father
   
2. Shallow:: deep
   
3. Erotica:: Literotica
   
4. Figment:: imagination
   
5. Eviction:: apartment
   
6. Composed:: music
   
7. Chill:: beans
   
8. Girl:: six
   
9. California:: my roommate or Kathy
   
10. Bond:: James
    

3x Thursday

1. Have you ever had a roomate? If so, do you like living with other people, or would you rather have your own space?
I have had roomates while in school. I generally don't mind living with people but I don't necessarilly want them in my face 24-7. As long as they are clean, and not too loud i'm cool.

2. If you've had roommates, got any horror stories? If not, if you had to, would you get a roommate, or get a 2nd job to pay for rent? I'm guessing the biggest horror story is the night I found out my 'friend' was cheating on my roomate. That was much more drarma than I like in my life.

3. Describe the ideal roommate. My ideal roomate could be either male or female. Someone who respects my stuff. Goes grocery shopping or at least conntributes to the food. Does not have guests all the time and doesn't have loud sex everynight. Social but gives me my space. Just someone who is considerate and pays rent.


I had the craziest dream last night. I dreamt that someone I know died. The is not the bad part, cause I've dreamt that people have died before. What was horrible was when I heard that this person died I felt so empty inside and I literally fell to the floor ans wept hysterically in my dream. It was almost like a piece of me had died. I woke up crying and screaming. It's been all day and my reaction and that feeling of emptimness has not left me. I guess I care for this person more than I ever realized if that is the reaction I'd have when this person dies.

I can't wait till his CD comes out. So High has been my favorite song today.

i am who i am
12:48 AM

Happy Birthday to my Grammie

and

RIP to my great aunt who's birthday would have been yesterday


Please consider taking part in this if you are eligible.. If you know of anyone may be interested please pass this link along. (I am not eligible cause it is just me.)

i am who i am
2:28 AM

Well I didn't win the tickets and come to think of it I've been in a weird mood all day. It has to do with more than that. I am BROKEN. I need money. I'm not supposed to work. (That is a long story...you may know it or you may not. It has to do with me being sick.) My hair looks horrendous. I need to get it done badly. I've bee considering getting this. I'm not sure though. It is not just my hair though. I need some money badly, and if I am ever gonna be able to finsh my last semester to my BS I need to pay off all my back balances as well as my for that whole semester out of my own pocket.

So I have been doing a lot of thinking and worrying lately. From what I've been hearing and reading that is a big no-no for my condition. I just want to get better soon, or at least well enough to get a job, make some money and not be so tired all the time.

Since I'm pretty much confined to the house I usally occupy myself in the kitchn. ( Which exhausts me) Yesterday I made a pizza. Crust and everything. It was a grilled jerk chicken and spinach pizza with cheddar and mozzarella cheeses. I liked it. I think I might make another one next week and try a different flavor.




i am who i am
11:00 PM

Music makes me high.

i am who i am
2:18 PM

I got it from an email:

Pick the MONTH that you were born in & put it on the SUBJECT LINE. Then FWD it to people you know, including the one who sent it. They just might
understand you better...


JANUARY:

Stubborn. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Never looks
at people's flaws or weaknesses. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat
and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others
happy. Quiet unless excited or tense. Rather reserved. Highly attentive.
Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Loving and loyal. Loves
children. Has great social abilities. Money cautious, can budget
successfully.
_______________________________________________


FEBRUARY: Greg
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and
clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet,
shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom.
Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily
hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislike unnecessary
things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn.
Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and
leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous.
Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.
_________________________________


MARCH:
Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive.
Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity.
Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy.
Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others.
Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves
attention.
Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decor. Musically talented.
Loves special things. Moody.
_________________________________



APRIL:
Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret.
Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves
attention.
Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and
fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional.
Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving Motivates oneself and others.
Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover
can see.
_________________________________

MAY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp
thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep
feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no
motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream.
Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck.
Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the
arts.
Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many
children.
Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.
_________________________________

JUNE:
Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite. Has lots of
ideas.
Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitates, tends to put things off. Choosy and
always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke.
Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Makes friends
easily.
Shows
character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Easily bored. Fussy
and stubborn.
Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand
conscious.
_________________________________

JULY:
Fun to be with. Secretive. Sometimes difficult to understand.
Quiet unless excited or tense. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation for
hard work. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly,
but not always approachable. Emotionally temperamental. Moody and easily
hurt. Witty. Not mean or revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets.
Dislikes nonsensical and illogical things. Sensitive and forms
friendships
carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of
sympathy.
Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. No difficulties in
studying.
Loves to be alone. Broods about the past and misses old friends. Quiet,
homey
person. Has difficulty making new friends. Prone to having dieting
problems.
Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.
_________________________________

AUGUST:
Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless.
Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others.
Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride of oneself. Thirsty for
praises.
Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily
jealous.
Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts.
Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and
defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses.
Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to
make friends.
_________________________________

SEPTEMBER:
Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Stubborn.
Quiet.
Uncomfortable if have to talk to a group. Calm. Sympathetic. Concerned and
detailed.
Loyal. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Thinking generous.
Good memory.
Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control
oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding.
Secretive. Loves sports and leisure Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle
up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships.
_________________________________

OCTOBER:
Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to takes things at the
center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry
often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends.
Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of
what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to
travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned.
Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily
loses confidence. Loves children.
_________________________________

NOVEMBER:
Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique
and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong
clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality.
Secretive.
Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but
amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is
a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry
unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others.
Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciates praises.
High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic.
Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities.
Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions.
Unpredictable

_________________________________



DECEMBER:
Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions.
Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be
with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved.

Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing
personality. Not egoistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates
restrictions.
Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical


i am who i am
4:19 PM

JULY:
Fun to be with. Secretive. Sometimes difficult to understand.
Quiet unless excited or tense. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation for hard work. Honest.
Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly,
but not always approachable. Emotionally temperamental. Moody and easily hurt. Witty. Not mean or revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets.
Dislikes nonsensical and illogical things. Sensitive and forms
friendships carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy.
Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. No difficulties in studying.
Loves to be alone. Broods about the past and misses old friends. Quiet,
homey
person. Has difficulty making new friends. Prone to having dieting
problems.
Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

Yeah that sounds like me.

More Mutterring...

1. Charity:: Passions
   
2. Scale:: Libras
   
3. Jennifer Lopez::married
   
4. Coercion:: facility
   
5. Meter:: parking
   
6. Pressure:: hospital (blood pressure)
   
7. June:: July
   
8. Infestation:: rodents
   
9. Serial killer:: rapist
   
10. Anguish:: pain
    

i am who i am
9:55 AM

Happy 27th Birthday Mr Kanye Omari West!

I know everyone is probably tired of seeing his picture. I'll get a new layout soon, but for now it keeps me content.

I haven't been up to much lately. Just lots of rest, which is what I need. Along with rest, I keep trying to win Summer Jam tickets. Mostly cause I want the money. I don't like concerts in big impersonal arenas like that. I have never not won something that I wanted, so I'm feeling like it wasn't meant to be. I can't go unless I win the money, cause I need want a new outfit and I want need to get my hair done. I have til Friday to win so wish me luck.

Does anyone know where Boog is?

i am who i am
1:09 PM

I haven't disappeared into thin air. I'm here I've just been too tired to type an entire entry. Yes that is possible. Don't worry I intend to make it up not cause I have a lot to say.

First off...Unconscious Mutterings

1. Lover:: soap opera
   
2. Ridiculous:: trying to win Summer Jam tickets all day
   
3. Oscar:: actors
   
4. Tennis:: Serena or Venus Williams
   
5. Account Balance:: nonexistent
   
6. Hickey:: kisses
   
7. License:: drive
   
8. Breathmints:: Certs
   
9. TexMex:: chili
   
10. Stepmother:: evil

I am totally obsessed with Iron Chef. If you have never seen it it is basically a competition where chefs complete a 4-7 dish menu consisting of a secret ingredient within an hour. It is like a culinary sporting event.
I LOVED the original Japanese version. Of course Americans had to make their own version. I'm not sure if it is going to be as wonderful as the original was.
This kitchen stadium is lit differently and the chefs have microphones.
I think I just liked the sound of the Japanese translators and their anonymity.
The American Iron Chefs are Wolfgang Puck,and his specialty is California cuisine; Mario Batali from Molto Mario and those Glad Press and Seal commercials; and Bobby Flay who I find extremely annoying and attractive at the same time. His cuisine is Southwestern. There has only been two episodes of Iron Chef America. Both were against one of the Japanese Iron Chefs and in both of the battles the 'American' won. Coincidence...I think not. I feel like the judges are not used to the style of cuisine presented by the Japanese chefs. I guess I should just blame it on their undeveloped palates. I'll continue to watch though. Last night was the spiny lobster battle....Yummy.

Speaking of food...I found out yesterday that Raven Symone wants to go to culinary school in France. That used to be one of my dreams in life. She was on The Wendy Williams show yesterday. I think she is so adorable in a nice friend your momma would like and that would know how to wild out when moms wasn't around kinda way. Plus my sister likes her too. Shout out to Desiree-Dawn.

Since this post seems to be based on food here is one of my favorite recipes from my All Things Sweet Weight Watchers Cookbook

Mississippi Mud Cake (serves 16...okay maybe 8)

1/3 cup margarine softened
1 cup sugar
3 large eggs
1 cup all purpose flour
1/3 cup unsweetend cocoa
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup pecans ( I omit the nuts)
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Cooking spray
3 1/4 cups mini marshmallows (Or as many jumbo marshmallows to cover the top of the cake)

1. Preheat oven to 325
2. Cream margarine. Gradually add sugar, beating at medium speed up a mixer until well blended. Add eggs, 1 at a time, beating well after each addition.
3. Combine flour and next three ingredients; stir well. Add to creamed mixture, beating at a low speed until blended. Stir in pecans and vanilla. Pour into a 13-x9 inch baking dish coated with cooking spray. Bake at 325 for 16 minutes or just until set. You shouldn't be able to do the toothpick test; at that point the cake is over baked. While cake is baking, make Chocolate Glaze.
4. Remove cake from oven, and top with marshmallows. Bake at 325 for 2 minutes or until marshmallows are soft. Remove from oven and drizzle with Chocolate Glaze and allow to cool.

Chocolate Glaze
2 cups sifted powdered sugar
6 tablespoon unsweetend cocoa
1/4 cup skim milk
2 tablespoons margarine
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Combine sugar and cocoa in a bowl; stir well. Combine milk and margarine in a 1 cup glass measure. Microwave at HIGH for 1 minute or until margarine melts.
Add milk mixture and vanilla to sugar mixture; beat at a low speed of a mixer until blended.

Try it out and let me know what you think.

I saw Troy last Thursday. I enjoyed it but it refreshed my aggravation with Paris and Helen. I remembered freshman English and how baffled I was at the whole situation. That whole war could have been avoided. Strangly enough the movie reminded me of the state of our country and how we will probably end up like Troy...totally destroyed and burnt to the ground. Brad Pitt is usually not my type but he was looking pretty sexy all greased up. Lucky Jen.


There is one thing that I probably love more than Kanye... HARRY POTTER!!!! I am so happy about going to see The Prisoner of Azkaban. That is when the series begins to get really good. I have $14 and I guess half of that is going to Daniel Radcliff.
My birthday is less than a month away. It is a big one. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I would like to see Raisin In The Sun, but somehow I doubt that is gonna happen. Times like this is when I wish I had a man to take me out. I'm so damn picky though.

You know I never did that ask me three questions thing, but most people who read this on a regular basis know me pretty well. Nonetheless, if anyone asks me three questions I will answer them.

i am who i am
12:50 PM